Trapped in an endless cycle I can’t break. 

Over and over, I make a mistake. 

How long is this going to take? 

​

A heavy millstone, they hang ‘round my neck. 

I add to their number, my life is a wreck.

Past, present, future, 

Mistakes fill them all.

Many massive, some quite small.

​

God, why isn’t this easier?

Still, I fail on the regular.

I rely on myself,

I ought to know better.

When has that ever worked? Never. 

​

Still, I cling in my pride,

To mistakes I try to hide.

Knowing deep in my heart,

Where the world’s desires start,

It will never work. Never. 

​

So why in my foolishness, do I return to these vices?

In their shiny luster, attractive guises?

For selfish gain, a root of much sin

Consumes me at my every whim.

Always lurking 'round the corner,

I look to me and not to you.

God, what am I going to do? 

How can you help a child like me? 

Who wants to live so selfishly. 

​

I look to your Word, my solace, my friend. 

Whose ancient truth will never end.   

I see your handprint working there,

Teaching me of a love so rare.

Yet freely given by your hand, 

To all who seek to understand,

And acknowledge you, the Holy One,

Who sent his only, perfect Son.

A sacrifice for all mankind.

Evil, wicked, sinful mankind. 

​

Teach me now, O God, my prayer

Long though it take me to prepare

My heart to be a useful vessel.

Grant me grace, God, as I wrestle

With this flesh that controls me so,

But by your strength, I let it go. 

​

I don’t know how, nor understand

But I believe that I can. 

Teach me, God, I’m not sure how,

But I believe you’ll show me now

​

What it means to die to self

Merely nothing amid thyself.

I gaze upon your holy presence. 

Striving hard to learn your lessons.

Taught in love and humility. 

Written for a wretch like me. 

A message for everyone.

A gift for all, your perfect Son. 

​

Take me by the hand, O God.

And help me start again. 

I’ve trusted myself, fool that I am. 

Thinking I can do it. I can!

I don’t deserve a second chance

Or a third . . . . or a millionth.

​

But I will strive on, closer to you

Every day I will honor you. 

And when I make a new mistake,

And feel as though my heart would break,

I will lay it bare before your throne, 

Slipping off that huge millstone,

Humble, penitent, before you alone. 

I will take the discipline and the grace

When I stumble into more mistakes. 

​

But Lord, I pray that each new day

My mistakes will slowly dwindle

As I cling to you and not to me, 

And grow to be less sinful. 

For when I live according to your Word, 

My support, my battle sword,

Those temptations will grow lesser. 

Making me, Lord, more like you. 

Not perfect. But better.