Fear of Falling Short of Love

“Such love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid, it is for fear of punishment, and this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love.” 

1 John 4:18 (NLT)

 

I have been tormented by the fear of inadequacy my whole life, but it intensified the summer before 6th grade. When I would wake up screaming, my body covered in a cold sweat, my dad would hold me in his arms and whisper, “Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. You have nothing to fear. You are deeply loved.” Even though I knew these things to be true, I was still plagued by nagging fears. I was constantly consumed with guilt about every tiny mistake and worried I would sin even more severely. 

 

So many years of my life were lived with the fear that I would sin so horribly that God’s love wouldn’t apply to me anymore. I thought that God was waiting for me to slip up so He could punish me. I know I’m not the only one who has felt this way. That’s why I want to talk about a simple and often overlooked concept: God’s unconditional love.

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“Wait,” some of you may be thinking, “but didn’t we learn about this in Sunday school?” 

Most of us know God loves us, but do we truly experience, believe, and trust in that love? 

To those whose fears come from the lie that they must be perfect to deserve love, I want this to be a reminder for us both.

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God loves us 100% of the time. It doesn’t matter what you’ve done or where you come from. On your best days and your worst days, His love stays the same. You can come to Him as you are because there is nothing you can do to make Him love you any more or any less. 

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Of course, sin is inevitable, but God will gently convict us– never condemn us. God will remind us that because of what Jesus did on the cross, we never have to worry again. His sacrifice was enough to cover every sin and fear. 

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God isn’t mad, disappointed, or even surprised you are fighting this battle. God knew that we would be prone to fear, and that’s why He reminds us in 2 Timothy 1:7 (NLT) that “God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” 

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If you’re still fighting fear, don’t be discouraged. It isn’t always easy to untangle lies woven into wrong ways of believing. Like dismantling knots, the process of unraveling lies is often long, painful, and frustrating. 

I still fight fear, but when the waves of anxiety threaten to pull me under, I anchor myself in God’s love. I remind myself of His goodness even when it’s hard to believe. I read and memorize scripture. I talk with trusted people in my life and seek professional counseling. I listen to worship music, practice breathing, journaling, gratitude, and, most importantly, prayer. I believe that slowly but surely, every lie will be uprooted, and each day, I will grow in the knowledge of God’s love for me. 

 

No matter what anxieties attack us, we can rest in God’s undeserved, unchanging, unconditional love and walk in the confidence that this love can calm any storm. When the waves of worry become overwhelming, let your Heavenly Father hold you in His arms and whisper, “Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. You have nothing to fear. You are deeply loved.” 

 

For further study, read Psalms 103:9-13