The Hidden Heist: Scene 4

(Bernard and Norman are standing in a dimly lit room. Bernard is holding a phone up to his ear, and Norman is trying his best to listen in.)

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BERNARD

Uh-huh.

(Beat).

Of course.

(Beat).

I understand completely.

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NORMAN

What? What’s he saying?

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BERNARD

Be quiet! I’m on the phone with the Boss.

(Bernard walks away, continuing to talk on the phone. Norman follows, undeterred)

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NORMAN

I know that. But what’s he saying?

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BERNARD

(pulls the phone away from his face)

I told you that’s what I’m trying to figure out, and I can’t do that if you don’t STOP TALKING!

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NORMAN

Well, sorry. I was just trying to help.

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BERNARD

(back on the phone)

Yes, sir. I understand.

(Beat.)

We’ll have it done immediately.

(He hangs up the phone and groans.)

​

NORMAN

What? What is it?

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BERNARD

There’s been a change of plans. Boss wants us to speed this up. He said something’s come up, and we have to be out before midnight tonight.

​

NORMAN

But I thought the plan was to-

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BERNARD

It doesn’t matter what you thought. Boss said to change the plan, so we change the plan.

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NORMAN

Okay fine. We change the plan.

(Beat.)

We’re still getting paid, right?

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BERNARD

Of course, we’re getting paid! There would be no job if we weren’t getting paid.

 

NORMAN

I just wanted to make sure I have plans for that money.

(Beat).

Aren’t you going to ask me about my plans?

​

BERNARD

(sighs dramatically)

What kind of plans, Norman?

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NORMAN

I’m gonna buy a houseboat!

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BERNARD

Do you know how to drive a boat?

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NORMAN

I know how to ride a bike. It can’t be much harder than that.

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BERNARD

Riding a bike is nothing like driving a boat.

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NORMAN

I’m sure I’ll be able to figure it out. I’ll take lessons or something. All that matters is that I’ll have my houseboat.

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BERNARD

Norman, you can’t swim. How will you survive in a house on a boat?

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NORMAN

I won’t need to swim, Bernard. I’ll be on the house part.

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BERNARD

But you’ll be surrounded by water!

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NORMAN

I won’t go in the water. You’re not thinking my houseboat through, Bernard.

 

BERNARD

I cannot talk about this with you any longer. Let’s just go get the supplies.

(The two thieves exit as Norman further explains his houseboat.)